psychothrombosis

I don't know if there even is such a thing, but let me break this word down for you with the current knowledge that I possess (since I just came out of a Medical Terminology exam).

Psych/o: a combining word; pertains to the mind
Thromb/o: also a combining word; means "clot"
-osis: a suffix; means "condition"

.... All of this educational junk just to explain to you that I presently feel as if I.... have it.

I just want to vegetate on my bed and let the "mindclot" melt away in this disgusting heat.

Lately I've been feeling very I-don't-give-a-___ about everything school related. I'm so sick of studying already. Nothing is going through my brain. I tell you -- Psychothrombosis. Or maybe it's because Anatomy drained every ounce of motivation out of me. Whatever it is, I am just ready to travel. Far far away.

This past Sunday, as I was about to head back to Loma Linda from LA, a few church guys asked if I wanted to join them on their spontaneous trek to PHIL'S BBQ. I gasped immediately with excitement, and then remembered I had 2 online quizzes due at 11:59PM that night and class at 9am the next day. Wah wah waaaah. At that moment, my conscience got some major work out. I was battling back and forth between what's right and what's RIGHT. I mean... getting Phil's BBQ is just... RIGHT, you know? It's SO RIGHT. (side note: Last year when I came back from Korea and lived in SD for a quarter, I ate Phil's 12 times in 11 weeks.)
So after a lot of "Should I????"'s, I had to say yes. And even though I felt super bad for having them pick me up in Loma Linda when it's pretty much out of the way, it all worked out. I was able to pick up my Med Term book from my apt and do the online quizzes at my small group "granddaughter" Chloe's apt after dinner. 35 minutes before it was due.

Situation of WIN and WIN. (Can you see the excitement just oozing out of my face?)

Oh, and another WIN because I didn't die in class the next day like I thought I would.

Anyway, next week is finals week, and the stuff that I've been learning the past 4 weeks, although it has been super fun and exciting, also made me feel very doubtful of myself. Will I become a competent OT? Will I be able to interact with my clients in a confident and objective, yet caring way? Will this program really teach me to become more articulate and professional in speech and manner? I want to say yes. Want to, that is.

I'm not motivated to study at all.
There are 2 main types of students:
1. Those who know how much studying they have to get done, so they start ASAP and spread the work out evenly so they don't have to cram and feel like death the night before.
2. Those who know how much studying they have to get done, so they simply just don't think about it. They don't feel the pressure yet because it is a week away. They attempt to convince themselves a week is plenty of time, but deep inside they know they're just trying to make themselves feel better by thinking that way.

Can you tell by how much more I wrote for the latter that I am that type of student? Haha.
Dang, not proud of that........
Time to finish my assignments extra early and start studying for finals!!

Heh..

it's official

I am going back to the Motherland.
I am half super-duper-excited-I'm-going-to-barf and half nervous.

The most unimaginable, life-changing experiences God had allowed me to go through during the 8 months I was there (August 2010 - March 2011) are now what seem like different episodes of one long dream, and it's even hard to believe that I am the same girl as the one in the pictures of my 10 or so Korea albums.

On the way up to Namsan Tower - August 2010 (2 years ago, wow)

The funniest sticker pic experience of my life - Insadong

Stella's 22nd - October 2010

The day I was motivated to perform onstage at Myungdong - October 2010

Confirmation, 2 weeks after the Crazy Cult Incident - November 2010

One of our many girls night in at Jeanne's apt - November 2010

Walnut Wednesdays (although I cheated many times) - December 2010

My nephew WonJun at 1.5 months (can't wait to see you again) - February 2011

If you were a reader since the beginning, you know what I've gone through. So revisiting the place that has given me SO many memories -- good, bad, and just plain crazy -- is going to feel unreal. Like dejavu or something. It will definitely feel like I'm going back in time, to when I was so sure I knew Seoul like the back of my hand. 

I could go on and on about how I feel, but I'm having writer's block. Bottom line - I'm anxious and I hope I could make one heck-of-a trip out of it. Freaking freak, I'm missing 3 days (4 long lectures) of class......... (Shhh it's ok Sarah, it's ok.... it's ok............)

dilemma, dilemma

Current situation: I have the opportunity to go to Korea for free (kinda) with my dad's and my mileage.

Problem:
1. If yes, the trip = the day after I come back from NY (19th) to 3 days into my 1st week of Fall quarter (26th).
Confused?
Basically, I'd be missing 3 days of school.

2. Airport tax + other fees = almost $400. And then there's spending money.

3. With what money would I be ordering my 2039489 (minus 2039483) books for Fall quarter then, you ask? I. Don't. Know.

If going, I would be able to:
1. Reunite with my dad again after a year and half (if bored, read some of my old Korea posts).
2. See my friend Lindsey get married (a big deal, considering her ex was the epitome of "douchebag").
3. Reunite and catch up in person with Tina Cho (hi <3)
4. Visit the aunt I always talked about in my Korea blog and get to see my cousin's baby again (he was 2 months old when I left for America).

... blah blah blah I have to go brb.


I already reserved the ticket. I just need to fill out some form and pay #2.

What to do. I'm so torn.
Okay I need to pray about this.

3 weeks left til my 2-week freedom

Hello.
So I officially have 3 weeks left of school until my 2-week "summer break".
And let me just say real quick.......

I CANNOT WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!

I cannot.
No, I can.
But cannot.

27 days til NY.

Recap of the week:
-Not much happened. Just registered and paid $50 to participate in the Color Run in San Diego, no big deal.
(I know, who am I, right???? I'm so scared and excited and omg I need to start training even though it's in November and it's only 3 miles!)
-Just did my goniometry assessment. Messed up on one part of it, but the professor was nice enough to give those who messed up another shot next week to show her that we know how to do it right... and that it was purely out of nerves (<-- I miss Anatomy) and that we were distracted by the other student who was talking at the same time. Ugh.


Anyway, onto a completely random topic.
I've been really hooked on wedding stuff lately. I don't know why. My roommate gave me the username and password to her Netflix account and all I've been watching was "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC.

Me in front of Kleinfeld in NY, last September.

A few nights ago, I've been watching same-day edit wedding videos on some guy I know's website. Granted I mentally barf at the sight of real life lovey-dovey romance (unless it's of the elderly), I can't help but to smile when watching them. The moment the groom turns around to see his bride decked out in her beautiful white wedding dress and makeup, the tears that come down his face when she's walking down the aisle, the gaze into each other's eyes during their first dance, the mouthing of the "I-Love-You's", and even the awkward kisses and poor choice of color scheme/wedding dress/bridesmaid dresses/decoration/everything.....

Last night, instead of practicing goniometry, I ended up watching a bunch of proposal videos (okay this one is just nuts: http://vimeo.com/23462420) (and I'm utterly speechless about this one: http://vimeo.com/42828824#). I wanted to slap myself when I started tearing up during one of them. 

I don't know what it is that's making me want to keep watching. Maybe it's because I'm seeing engagements and weddings happen all over my FB. Maybe it's because my roommate is being invited to like... 3 weddings a month. Maybe it's because i'm 24 and a half, and it's just about time for me to start dating and find "the One" or whatever. 

Whatever it is, I hope I never forget that while I might be secretly desiring these things for myself, that God is openly desiring this for Himself -- from me, someone He wants to choose Him forever, to walk with Him forever, to be faithful to Him forever, to love Him forever. 

3 noteworthy things of the day

It is currently 11:13PM and I just finished my 2-page paper 20 minutes ago.
Guess what time I started it.
That's right, at 4:30. It took me about 6 hours to write a freaking 2-page paper.
But what's new, right?

Anyway, it's pretty late and I still haven't washed up yet, so I will keep this one simple.
Oh, but let me just sidenote -- it is SO FREAKINGLY HOT here. I've been sitting under the high-speed ceiling fan all throughout the 6 hours I was working on my paper and I am still almost as sticky as rice. I feel disgusting.

Okay, moving on.
Here are 3 noteworthy things of the day.

1. [If you haven't read my FB status already...] After class, I went to the cafeteria with my friends to eat lunch. I brought my leftover pizza from Friday (There was a Cambodia team reunion, except it wasn't a reunion because it was mostly just me and my leader Robin, who I saw the most this year....) in a plastic container and microwaved it, only to have dropped it soon thereafter because I was wa-- SO DUMB. Then out of nowhere came this kind man who, while I was picking the pieces up, insisted on buying me pizza from the cafeteria, even though I kept declining the offer and explaining that I'm good at eating stuff off the floor (or I used to be, actually...)(Wait actually it's not something to brag about huh....)(Oopsies). Anyway, the cafeteria pizza was disgusting, but knowing that my physical contentment was the fruit of a random generous act made me switch from "ugh" to "aww".

2. As we were leaving the cafeteria, I bid farewell to my friends who had lab at 1PM and 3PM (separately). I heard their "Luckyyyy" fade away as I was happily walking towards my car, only to find out that I got a freaking parking violation ticket.
4. Minutes. Late. I. Was.
Lucky. I. Was. Not.

I sulked in my newfound misery, and then decided to congratulate myself on my stupidity with some strawberry balsamic ice cream from A la Minute. It was the best congratulations I could've received.

3. I wrote a good chunk of my paper sporting a unibrow, buttcrack bangs, glasses, and retainers. Why? Just because. And maybe to distract my roommate who was sitting across from me. We made a bet where the loser would have to take the most unattractive picture of herself and post it on Facebook if she was randomly caught on any social networking site while writing the paper. I think we were both too afraid to lose.

I'll show it here and only here, since I know I have an exclusive group of readers.

Now tell me I'm beautiful.

goniometry

Hello.
I am done for the week! The cool thing about this short quarter is - we don't have class on Fridays, except when we have to come in to take a test. The sucky thing is - the majority of the OT class don't have school on Thursdays. Why is it sucky then, you ask? Because I'm not in that majority.
Whatevs, I'm just going to keep telling myself I'm being productive and that climbing the freaking 1038-degree incline up to our OT building in 100+ degree weather is totally fine.

On a serious note though, I am loving my classes. I can't believe I'm in grad school, STILL. I can't believe that the classes I'm taking are actually relevant. I can't believe the 4982 textbooks I am going to be owning throughout my years here are going to actually be helpful in my career. (I can't believe I won't be able to sell any of them....... goodbye $$).

Today was my first day of lab for Functional Kinesiology and we learned Goniometry, which is the measurement of the angles created by the bones of the body at the joints. We got these small protractor-like instruments called goniometers and measured each other's range of motions in our arms, elbows, fingers, wrists, etc. (We do this because there are patients who've had strokes or injuries and cannot move their joints to their full potential.) It's so cool to finally be learning this because when I used to observe an occupational therapist at Scripps Hospital in La Jolla during my undergrad years, she'd tell me to write down all these angles on a post-it and I'd have NO idea what I'm writing down.

"Sarah, write 'PIP= 65 degrees... MP=32...'" blah blah blah and I'd be like... "Wait-- sorry-- T.I.P.? Wait-- N.P.? What was the number again??" (I remember feeling so dumb and useless.)

Practicing today for the first time made me admire her even more. I don't know how she measured/read all those angles on the goniometer so fast. (Okay, I do know. She's been an occupational therapist for over 10 years and I've only been an OT student for 8 weeks. Yay you're so smart, Sarah.)

Anyway, this all makes sense now! Kind of. I mean, it's pretty confusing and I still need to study hard, but it's also very exciting (do I sound nerdy yet?). If I'm this excited and it's only the first quarter of the real stuff, then I can't wait for the next 2.75 years. (Actually, I can.)


I need to perform goniometry by memory next week as a part of my test -- in 15 minutes.
Any volunteers willing to let me practice on them? :/

day 1 of the real stuff

I can't believe I'm done with Anatomy forever!!!

... NOT.

I'm taking 3 classes this quarter (which is only 5 weeks, so actually I don't know if it really is a quarter), one of which is Functional Kinesiology. Basically it's about muscle & joint movement, and it's taught by a sweet, elderly occupational therapist lady. (.... Sorta ironic?)
So yeah we still need to know our anatomy, as long as we are in this career.

Anyway, I don't know too much about this class, but what I do know is that we have to palpate (def.: to examine by touch, for medical purposes) each other and wear deodorant to lab. Is it gross that I've never used deodorant before? For those of you who know me well enough, I don't sweat easily. Even in a 200-degree (?) sauna, all you'd see is... nothing (as in "no sweat," not "no clothes" sheeeesh)(Well, I guess that too but.... not always sheeeesh).

It feels weird being home at this hour. I feel like I'm ditching something, or forgetting to do something, or doing something wrong in life. I guess I will just have to enjoy this new schedule.

-----
SHOUTOUT TO SHARON AHN:
Happy 24th Birthday!!!! Hope you have the bestest day ever <3 So blessed to have you as my friend.

SHOUTOUT TO ESTHER KANG,
my Cambo gurrrl 012. I haven't seen you in what... 2 years??? Dude I don't even know. Can you believe it's been 4 years since our trip?? Man, can't wait to see you <3
-----

Okay, what was I talking about...
Yes. My new schedule. The latest I stay on campus is 12pm! And one of my classes is online, except for when we take our quizzes and final.
Oh which reminds me. This week's weather:

Today: 106
Tues: 102
Wed: 102
Thurs: 106
Fri: 106
Sat: 102

... Yeah I don't know what to say.

... Yeah.

Okay bye.
Time to do my HW:
-Personality test
-What Color Is Your Brain? quiz
-Personal Strengths survey
-How You Act in Conflicts survey
-Coat of Arms drawing/crafts mini-project

(Best HW ever)

GOODBYE FOREVER GROSS ANATOMY!!!!

I AM DONE I AM DONE I AM DONE!!!!

I really don't feel like writing a lot right now because I am hungry and overwhelmed and tired and ecstatic all at the same time, but you can look at my facebook album. I just updated it :)

I'm also working on a video, which should pretty much tell you how last night/today was.

So pretty much, I FELT SCREWED. I was so ready to give up on getting an A (or even a B) on my finals. Last night, my friends and I decided to go wait in line for Chick-fil-A for dinner (knowing how freaking horrendous the line was during lunch time). We tested each other on the origins, insertions, and nerves of the 105 muscles we had to know for our final while in line for 45 minutes. We were then each handed a voucher for a free sandwich because they ran out of food. :/ (but yay!)

Today morning, we were greeted with the best care package ever by our TA James (yes he's creepy).

the thing i'm holding is a calendar made by some of our TAs. IT IS THE BEST.

look at FB album.

Then came time for our written exam (Jen and I were supposed to take our lab practical first, but we just snuck in and took our written first instead). IT WAS TERRIBLE. LOATHSOME. DETESTABLE. I came out wanting to cry. I saw my A- going down the drain. I wanted to just collapse on the floor and crawl up into a ball. And cry. (But then I oba-ed because I found out just now I got an 86.)

My lab practical is a different story. I somehow skipped a station 2 different times and had to sneak up to them at the end so I could quickly fill in my 2 blanks with something. This practical was supposed to be an easy A+ according to the TAs, and I thought I screwed up badly. I was so stressed throughout the exam and was ready to give up on life. (But then I oba-ed yet again because I found out just now I got a 99). 

SO, overall, I did well. I couldn't achieve my goal of getting an "A (95%+..... yeah, i know.)" in the class, but an A- is close enough and I am beyond thankful for the experience and... for life. THE BODY IS SO FREAKING COMPLICATED!!! It is too nuts for words! But this just shows a glimpse of how crazy God is. 

God is not just good. He's amazing. 

TIME TO ENJOY MY 3-DAY WEEKEND.