dialogue in the dark

got my camera! first picture - me and jessica, 

a Korean-Australian "dongseng" (she's only 18.....) who made

all of us freaking delicious blueberry cupcakes

so since friday, i've been practicing the guitar.
don't ever expect me to play chords. my pinky can't reach. my hands are too small.

i could only pick.
and thus, i've become a guitar fmaster.
i would upload a video of me playing/singing "angel of mine" by monica...
but it's kinda emburrassing.
and it'll be even more, once i reactivate facebook (tomorrow, 6pm PST) and more ppl start to read my blog.

today was valentine's day. thankfully, i didn't barf.

... and it's SONIA PARK'S 23rd BIRTHDAY!!! 

shout out to you, bff-of-10-years. i love you sones <3

dang, i can't believe it's been a year since i had my anti-valentine's day weekend with christina. 

i remember i was at the lowest of the low (weight-wise) because of the b.u. + the food poisoning i got on new year's eve + this random a$$ sickness called "labyrinthitis."

before= 97 lbs/ pic= 88 (i look sickly.)/ now= 92

moving on.
i was home til 3:30 pm, went to tutor by 5, came back at 8.
however, yesterday when i went to this place called "daiso" (a 99cents store equivalent), i saw a hoard of girls buying stuff for their v-day gifts to their significant others.
you see, in korea, v-day is a day where girls give gifts&chocolate to guys.
march 14 is when guys give gifts&chocolate to their yuhj.
and then there's a separate day for jjajangmyun. i don't know when that is. and i don't care.

anyway, that topic doesn't deserve more than what i wrote.

saturday, tina cho and i went to shinchon to go to an exhibition called "dialogue in the dark." in a nutshell, it's an hour-and-a-half-long exhibit of walking in a pitch black environment. we were a part of an 8-person group led by a "roadmaster" who we never got to see. we had to learn to rely on our other senses, as well as our canes, to get through the completely dark rooms. (you should try being in the dark for more than 5 minutes. your eyes start going nuts and you start to see gray clouds surrounding the center of whatever you're looking at.)
one of my favorite rooms was the "market" room, where we had to guess what items we were feeling and bring our partner a present that reminded us of them. there were many "oops"'s and "oh shoot sorry"'s (because as you could imagine, everyone bumps into/feels each other -- i actually caressed some guy's hand and it was awkward), but halfway into it, our group seemed to be comfortable with each other, as well as with the vulnerable situation we were put in. at the end, when we were in a dark "cafe", we were allowed to drink something random and guess what it was. it's crazy how pepsi tastes like 7-up in the dark.
anyway, we asked our guide during Q&A: "how did you know so well where we were standing and stuff??" she was amazing. she sometimes grabbed my hand as if she knew exactly where it was. she also commented here and there stuff like, "team ___, step a little more forward please!"

me: tina, i think i know how she knows. i think she's wearing night-vision goggles.

nope. she was blind. she was just really well-trained and knew exactly how to use her other senses to know our movements and locations.

i can't imagine being permanently blind. i'd rather be deaf. like today, i wore my glasses because my left eye was irritated yesterday, and i think my eyes got worse (my current eyesight = -9......). i couldn't read some things and i was getting kinda scared.
but anyway, i learned that even with these disabilities, God is still perfect. why? because He never puts us through things He knows we can't handle. this "roadmaster" knew exactly where everything was, where everyone was, talked to us as if she knew what we looked like...
i mean sure, she probably feels dapdaphae and depressed at times for not being able to see what everyone else sees, but who doesn't feel that way, regardless whether disabled or normal?
the difference between non-christians and christians is that, in times of depression and chaos, we turn to God, to his throne of grace. He gives us joy and hope for a life -- free from all that negative stuff -- in heaven with Him.