iFail

i have this thing called "grow group" every monday night.
name is pretty self-explanatory.
we're going over "radical" by david platt. it's pretty... radical, this book. every chapter makes you feel like a despicable human being, in a... good way i guess. no no, not because being despicable is good, but yeah. you know.

funny how this week's chapter was about money, too (see a recurring theme here?)
it talked about how money is a God-given blessing, that it's for us to enjoy.
YAY THE END!

no.

it's also dangerous, duh. when it becomes your #1 source of comfort and happiness, that's when you know you're in big trouble.
later on, it challenges the readers to give to those in need. how much? until it hurts.
did you know (you probably do but whatevs) that if you have a home with running water, you're in the top 15%? (ok honestly, the book's not near me so i might be kinda wrong.)

how much can we give up for God? how much of our possessions can we let go to give to those who need it more than we do? there's a huge cost to being a follower. but is it worth it?

today was just UGH. and it's my fault. i could say that now.
my personality is -- when i'm set on doing something that day, it's going to happen. if it doesn't, i get irritated.
i set today to be the day i get my iPhone 4s, right before i go to work at 2:30. i saved up just enough to not starve for the next 2 weeks, so i was good to go. i guess.
"ok, i'm gonna sleep in (yess), get up and out by 11-ish, eat something light and delicious, and go to target and get my iPhoneeee," i thought with excitement the night before. (target because sharon and patty got theirs without reserving it and even received $30 store credit for trading their droids in.)

long story short:
-got a phone call at 7:30am from the office asking if i could cover a shift from 9-12. ok fine.
-went to target at 12:30, only to find out that the 2 girls who were there before me got the last 2 iPhones.
-got sent over to another target 35 minutes away, only to find out that the guy who works in the phone section was out for lunch, when he KNEW i was coming in.
-went to another client's home at 2:30 and left at 3:15, almost 2 hours earlier than scheduled because the kid was K.O.
-went back to the 2nd target, only to be told that all targets ONLY carry at&t iPhones. ........... are you kidding me??? is what i said 20394 times at that moment.
-went to my korean cellphone store next to my mom's bakery, only to see that it was CLOSED.
are you kidding me???
-went to the nearest verizon store, only to find out that i have to pre-order. but it's coming friday (thank you)

i went through ALL THAT for a FREAKING iPhone that will cost me $255 (including tax).

ouch......

but because of what?
the only giving there is in this situation is... giving in to materialism.


so how much can i give up for God? how much of my possessions can i let go to give to those who need it more than i do? there's a huge cost to being a follower. but is it worth it?
sigh, iFail.