changes

some changes have occurred recently in my life. (is korea slowly changing me? haha)

first, my hair.
it went from this:

to this...

to this.

finally. hahaha i've been wanting to do it for a pretty long time now.

another change: i went from a 50/50 E/I-SFJ to an I-N/S-FJ (well i guess this was a slow process)

it's interesting. i took a personality test to see if korea has changed me or not, and i guess it sorta did. first one -- INFJ. i was like... what? so i took 2 other ones. both said INFJ. no way. i was a pretty strong "sensor". last one i took said i was 50/50, so i looked up what "intuitive" entailed. 

-are mostly in the past or future (*)

-worry about the future more than the present (***)

-are interested in everything new and unusual (is that why i've been wanting to get a 2nd piercing and a new hairdo for a while now?)

-do not like routine (somewhat)

-are attracted more to the theory than the practice (ehh)

-often have doubts (*)

so weird because before, i was always about focusing on the present.

so weird because before, i loved having a routine schedule. after korea, not so much. 

let's see what i get in a month or 2. 

most important change: the fact that i don't receive daily calls/texts from my dad anymore.

but some.... good? news. he texted me during service yesterday (sunday) saying he's not going to be able to contact me in a while because he's busy with work. sounds a little shady, don't you think? i mean... i called him numerous times, texted him, and he gets back to me after 3 days with... a text? 

jeanne told me to call him later so i did and his voice did NOT sound good. it sounded way deeper than usual. "아빠 지금 미팅있으나까 이따 전화할께." uh... huh....

later he texted me back with... 

"세라! 회사관계로 미팅이 언제 끝날지 모르니까 전화 기다리지 말고 있어! 나중에 연락할께!! 아빠에게 중요한 일이야! <3"

how long would a freaking meeting go.
can't he at leastttt call me before he goes to sleep? bathroom break? lunch/dinner break?? what is going on. .... obviously something he can't tell me about.

today, during my date with tina cho, he texted me again.
"세라! 아빠가 조금 바쁘게 해결할 일들이 있어서 자주 연락 못하고 있으니 잘 지내고 조심해서 다니길 바래! 바쁜일 끝나면 괜찮아져!"
translated to something along the lines of...: "sarah! i'm busy with lots of things to handle, so i can't call you often. take care and be careful! everything will be okay once i'm done!"

UGH. why can't he just call me. (how the tables have turned, eh?)
so after i texted him back (in korean) with...: "ok dad. stay healthy and do well <3 i'll pray for you. pray, too okay? be careful"
he replied with: "딸! 항상 사랑해!! <3" (daughter! i love you always!! <3)

at least i know he's alive. sigh.
please continue to pray for him :)
--------

so today, i had a shopping date with tina cho. another wonderful time of fellowship indeed. it's so crazy how even though we suffer through very different things (hers being physical/emotional, mine being... emotional? financial?), we can still be able to encourage one another with one common, unchanging fact: TRUSTING IN GOD IS KEY. always. every day. every moment. i told her about how these days, i worry/dwell too much on the past and future (quality of an "intuitive") and she mentioned this book called "Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis, and pretty much about how doing that is a sin... a way for satan to drag us down -- becauseeee if we were stable in our walks with God and trusted in Him, we'd only live for the present/eternal. that's DEEP, man. that's deep.

another profound thing tina said (oh you wise one you hahahaha) -- "if God is on the 10th floor and we're on the 1st, and there's only an escalator going down [representing our walks with God, of course], obviously the only way we can get to Him is if we run up. if we walk on a downward-going escalator, we're always going to be at the same place."

TRUE THAT, SISTA! this is why i love accountability and fellowship.
now to drill this in my head every day............

for a christian, every day is a struggle. we are inspired and motivated one day, discouraged and forget what we learned the next.
i need to run more. (figuratively...)
(...and literally)