worthwhile

[EDIT] PHOTOS POSTED :)

hmmm.
i don't really have a specific topic i want to talk about today.

i had the whole day off yesterday. thursdays are usually the days i spend with tina cho to catch up, hang out, have some valuable fellowship... but we couldn't yesterday because i was  on the opposite side of seoul from gangnam. (my aunt's -- you guessed it.) (or did you...)

so after breakfast, i was like, "what the HECK am i going to do the whole day."
and because i am a planner, i planned my day.
1. shower
2. chill
3. walk to lotte 백화점 15 minutes away in my running shoes (good, this way, i can get my exercise)
4. pick up my altered coat and buy some... femin-- yeah
5. maybe if i feel like it, buy some ice cream
6. walk along the wannabe-천계천 (in case i need more exercise)
7. go home and eat dinner
8. face mask (because my face is a MESS)

i did all of this because i like to do everything on my (imaginary) list. but...
4. the altering place lost my freaking belt strap. last week, i picked it up and they did something wrong so i left the coat with them again, making me come back the next week and they lose my freaking strap?!? i was going to CUSS THEM OUT!
jk. being the coward that i am, i sadly said "할 수 없지요, 뭐... 감사합니다..."
..... LUCKY FOR THEM and me, i have an extra at home (the coat came with 2 different styles of straps. luckily, i kept the prettier one at home.)
5. so while walking back, i saw a rotiboy and gasped. "ok, i'm going to get some baskin robbins peach melba, but if i get this, then i'm never gonna lose weight... (rotiboy = butter nation)... but then i AM ragging right now so i have an excuse. yeah." so i got a rotiboy AND peach melba. freak.

my peach melba, rotiboy, some ahem, and my "running" shoes

6. so i thought, "maybe the walk back will burn off the calories." chyeahhh right! ... but i was too tired to walk along the nicely-constructed river right then, so i told myself i'd walk after dinner by myself and have some me-time (not that i haven't the whole day...)
later, my aunt and uncle found out about my plan and invited themselves. to make things more uncomfortable, they joked, "what if sarah wanted to walk by herself because she was around us too much?? 속으로 'aish' 하는거 아니야?? ㅎㅎㅎ" and obviously i can't stay silent at the comment or else it'll let them know that i do... in fact... feel that way... so i had to fake a laugh and say "ㅎㅎ 아니에요~".

guys, this is bad.......... i think my face is getting soo tired of fake-smiling that it's just not working anymore. sometimes, i just CAN'T. seriously, who knew it'd be a (spiritual) struggle being at a relative's home. WHO KNEW. I DIDN'T. DID YOU??
i wish i at least had some aegyo to hide my true feelings. but that's bad too. aish.

anyway, i ended up taking an hour walk -- 30 minutes down, 30 minutes up -- along the river and it was actually nice. i still did have some me-time where i got to just think. or not think about anything at all. when i did think, i thought, "if i were to have to go back to america RIGHT NOW, would i be ready? was all this time enough?" and i concluded NO. i am not ready. i still have so much more to learn and so much growing to do here. too much to experience. and then i thought about my life back at school. costa. campus. geisel. cse. class. volunteer. blah blah. i miss it a lot, but i'm not ready to go back. right now, this new life, the things i'm learning about my culture, the experiences, the new perspectives, my dad, friends, blah blah... they're what makes my stay here worthwhile.

so a few hours ago, i had tutor with my 2 girls dasom (colleen) and jisun (kiera). usually, i go over to kiera's apt to have my tutor sessions, but last time, when we discussed about food, i told them how much i miss american food and how kraze burger SUCKED didn't taste so good. they suggested i try this place called "valance burger" near this area and i got all excited and asked if we could go. so we went today.

[LtoR] kiera and colleen

i give it a..... 88.4%

overall, it was pretttyy good. better than kraze burger for sure. and they bought me it too, telling me in their broken english that they're thankful for me. :)
while eating, we got into various (and quite educational) topics, such as the acceptance/commonality of homosexuality in korea vs. that in america, plastic surgery, difference between korean and american men, blah blah blah. soooo interesting hearing from them how men here are starting to wear foundation & eye makeup, lose weight to wear super duper skinny jeans, receive fat injections on their face to look younger, all that SUPER RIDICULOUS STUFF. are you kidding me? i told them if guys were to do that in america, they'd be considered gay.
i told them, "wow, i think if i had grown up in korea, i would've been stressed all the time about how i look and stuff." and they agreed, which made me all the more thankful to be korean-american.
later, we went to a cafe and ordered some pretty good patbingsoo (my treat). and while eating this deliciousness, we played 10 fingers. i lost. they teamed up against me. and my punishment was to approach any boy in uniform and ask them to take a picture with me. there were none on our way home. thank you God.

sometimes i ask myself, "what the heck are you doing here in korea, sarah. just go home. this isn't your real life anyway." like.. it's not like i'm staying a year here for a program. i'm just.. here...
but that's stupid. ha
being able to teach my kids, laugh with them, learn from them, spend time with them, show them pictures and videos from college, make an impact on them, create this relationship with them...
makes korea worthwhile.

... haha i guess i did have a specific topic to talk about.