meet my current favorite snack: hodu gwaja. they're warm, fresh, perfectly sweet, crunchy on the outside, soft-bready on the inside, not too much bean paste in it, not that much walnut bits... and whenever i pass by a hodu gwaja vendor cart, i can't HELP but to buy a bag. and eat it as a meal (they're pretty filling, cheap, and convenient when i don't have time to eat. i really wish you can try some!)
it REALLY doesn't help that there's a cart near 3 of my tutor locations.
therefore, i decided to make a day for myself -- "walnut wednesdays"
thank you God for wednesdays.
yesterday night i ate some bread for dinner. today morning, i ate bread for breakfast. an hour ago, i ate half a slice of goguma cake and 75% of a buttercream-filled coffee bun. for dinner.
i see changes in my hips, arms, and cheek size. sigh.
speaking of body parts, i just looked at the heels of my feet. they are calloused. i don't understand; it's not like i wear flip flops or flats. i wear socks and fairly padded shoes. and my legs.... because it's winter time and i don't ever have to show my legs, i don't shave. so now, i have a pretty fertile garden of hair. omg some are longer than a centimeter. and it looks like the garden got snowed on because my legs are sooo dry.
ok why am i writing a paragraph on this in a letter.
you know what's funny? i could check to see how many visitors visited my blog each day and yesterday was by far the most -- 36 people/52 visits/103 pageviews. the funny part? it's now finals week.
happy finals week!
(one of my favorites: "for I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'fear not, I am the one who helps you.'" -isaiah 41:13)
at least i now know i'm not writing to myself
which is why i am writing this letter to.....
you. :) (and it might look very long, but please read it! it's from the hearttt.)
anyway, how are you doing? you'd probably just answer with a "i'm good" or even an "ahhhhh i'm freaking busy!!!" but... i want to know... how are you really doing?
because we're human, we'll always have some kind of struggle in our lives, whether it be trivial or life-threatening. i know this is cliche, but life really is a roller coaster. at one moment, you think life can't get any better, and then the next, you feel hopeless and alone.
i've only been in korea for 4 months, but i've felt this a gajillion times with many different problems and issues.
but God taught me SO much, and this is what i learned/am still learning/personally want to share with you (and no, it is not based on the sermon i heard at church today):
don't seek to be happy. seek to be holy.
happiness is fleeting. holiness brings us to eternity with God.
eternity with God will give us infinite joy, a feeling we cannot even fathom.
struggles people go through either bring them closer to God or separates them from Him.
but... please. "draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." -james 4:8
be thankful for your struggles. rejoice in every single one of them, for they shape you and grow endurance, character, and hope in you (romans 5:3-4) and that's far more valuable than the things money can buy and what happiness can make you feel (temporarily).
i've also realized throughout my stay here that i'd rather struggle than be completely happy and have things go my way, because if it did, i would not know how much i need God in my life.
to be lacking in almost every way, but finding sufficiency in our Creator and our Purpose in Life...
is such a beautiful thing. and it's the way it should be with you and me.
i don't know about you, but for me, God speaks to me most clearly through the tough times. He's what keeps me going. He's what helps me push through.
and i really hope that it is this way for you, too. :)
of course, i fail and i doubt His power sometimes and become discouraged. but that's because i lean too much on my own understanding. we will never understand God's ways, but His ways are nevertheless perfect.
remember, ultimately, that your life isn't yours and that it is NOT just about being successful, happy, comfortable, well-fed, well-dressed, well-accessorized, whatever.
let's think about this question: WHO ARE WE?
God didn't create us to be successful doctors, businessmen, engineers, artists, lawyers, blah blah blah.
He created us to be His CHILDREN. that is and should be who we say we are.
sure, He's blessed us with our talents and such, but not so that we could use it to glorify ourselves. not so that it could give us happiness.
let's really pray that we use more of our time and energy on becoming holy and less on becoming happy. i know i really need this prayer for myself.
"but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." -matthew 6:33.
we can do it :)
love,
sarah
p.s. i'd love to have a good chat, lend an ear, and/or pray for you if you need me to.
IM me if you see me online and you're free :) [sku504 -- lame i know, sorry]
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