homesick...?

i've been getting dreams lately that i'd be back at home without absolutely NO clue how i got there. and i'd be so confused, like... "how the heck did i get back?? did i say bye to everyone?! where are my stuff?? why am i back all of a sudden??" and i'd get SUPER depressed.
and then i'd wake up, process where i am for a few seconds, and then exhale a sigh of relief.


but at the same time, i miss home so much -- home meaning... being surrounded by americans. familiar faces. family. driving. american music. american food (phils, mexico, cheesecake factory, sushi, mario's -- i'm waiting patiently for you -- and yes i recognize that these aren't all american food, but you know what i mean), my clothes (i forget what i own. i wear the same things over and over here and i miss my clothes soooo much. korean clothes.... sigh.)... etc. etc.

yesterday, i was like... so femo (fake emo) because i felt "homesick". it wasn't like a "i wanna go backkkk" but more like a "i wanna visitttt." at one point, i just sat in my chair and stared into space. i didn't feel like doing anything. buttt, i don't think i'm ready to go back permanently just yet. good thing i still have 3 months left, right?

ahhh but at the same time (again...), i'm tempted to stay longer.... but i know i can't because i have to prepare for grad school and apply by september in order to start in january. life sucks. jk

oh by the way, i'm tutoring as of this very moment. my student is studying for his bio final which is tomorrow. all his classes/textbooks are unfortunately in english (what a cruel university) and his professors are all korean fobs. i don't understand why they do this...

so what are my plans for christmas, you wonder? (and if you're not, oh well)
no clue. christmas eve is such a big day for EVERYONE here. i hear restaurant/cafe/bakery prices DOUBLE, couples GALORE x 239048235, and if you're single, you stay home and watch home alone all day (that's usually the main movie they play on TV). so sad.
you know, my cousin told me that some people are so desperate for a "partner" during the holidays (11/11, christmas, new years, valentine's, white day...) that they just find random people that they meet at a bar/club/who-knows-where to be their pseudo-boy/girlfriend for just those special days. mutually agreed, of course.

i'd rather..... not. i guess during these times when i'm supposed to want a boyfriend, i'm glad i don't have one because i don't want to be one of the 23049820348 couples out on christmas/new years eve that block human/street traffic and make the single population barf their brains out.
i sound bitter hahaha
i'm not. i'd really rather be with my dad or my friends :)

i just asked my student right now what he's doing for christmas:
"nothing special. if i do go out, it is with guy friends and... very horrible."
"you don't have any girl friends?"
"NONO"
*O_O* "why...?"
*in korean* "i'm the type to avoid hanging out with girls..."

my student is a math genius. he also said he's NEVER going to tell any of his friends about me because he's embarrassed that he's getting tutored in english at this age (he's a 1st year in college). he's getting an A in english right now and his friends are all shocked.

tomorrow is supposedly gonna be the coldest day of 2010. i'm scared for my life.
today was 27 degrees fahrenheit. tomorrow's going to be 15. during the day time. 주여!!!!

p.s. i cheated. i ate walnut balls for dinner yesterday. yesterday was monday.
i feel guilty. i guess no walnut wednesday for me this week.... :/